Below is the eulogy I wrote in entirety for Pop-pop's funeral. Jackie told Jim and I afterwards that she wanted to get up and speak. She wanted to talk about Disney World and the Dinosaur ride. That was the ride I sat out on because Hilly and Ben were too small, so she went with Grandma and Pop-pop and Uncle B and Parker.
I am Michelle, Rodney's stepdaughter. I volunteered to speak on behalf of my brothers and I because, other than Rodney, I was the only other extrovert in the family. I've also watched him dutifully speak at so many funerals, despite his level of sadness and emotion. So this would make him really happy.
We all have our Rodney stories- we LOVE these stories- and we have been telling our own Rodney stories- WITH Rodney- for YEARS. The laughter and often groans that accompany these stories have bonded my brothers and I like crazy. I can't tell you how many phone conversations have begun with "I have a good Rodney story for you." And what follows is a crazy adventure that might include keys lost at the bottom of some pool - we don't know which pool- in an enormous water park, glasses lost in the ocean where we all search for his sunglasses for HOURS, only to find random pairs of sunglasses that are not Rodney's. Or a trip to the Yankees- taking the wrong tunnel- arriving during the 7th inning stretch and leaving to find he'd locked the car door w the keys in the ignition and the car still running. Or that he made us stay at Hess's department store so long we are locked inside the store with no employee to be found. We've been taking comfort in these laughs and remembering him laughing along with us and his own retelling of the events which was priceless in itself.
This is only one small aspect of a man who lived a too-short but oh so incredibly full life. He had So. Many. Friends. And he was great friends with his large family. And great friends with my mom's family. And our neighbors and my mom's childhood friends and the manager at his favorite restaurant and so on and so forth. He loved people. And his love language was most certainly quality time. How many of us have been w Rodney on what was supposed to be a quick errand or meal and you ended up on a wave runner or sledding down a mountain or carrying 100 pieces of dry wall at a house you've never seen before or at a factory counting boxes in Newark, New Jersey and not home til close to midnight. Or at his beloved family farm. I think we all have - because he was so generous w his time with those he loved. He never wanted the good time to end. I think at this moment we are all grateful for those extra hours we got to spend.
It was not always easy to grow up as Rodney's step child (nor did we make it easy on him). Rodney was a police officer and criminal prosecutor at heart and he would police the language of our CDs and the mileage on our cars and our curfews with utter zeal. And like true rebellious teenagers, we would shamelessly steal back our CDs and disregard our curfews and talk back like it was going out of style. It drove him nuts. And he drove us nuts- we were committed to all sorts of manual labor unless we could make a quick getaway. I once ended up ditching my friend because she got suckered into helping him fix a washing machine for hours.
But he would never give up on us. He worried SO MUCH about us and like most teenagers, we worried about doing whatever we wanted to do. Nonetheless, in between bookings, he reminded us that he loved us as if we were his own biological children. This love trickled directly down to our children.
Rodney was BORN to be a pop-pop. He rivaled only my mom in enthusiasm and dedication and loyalty and time spent. In fact, they would sneak around behind each other's backs to visit grandkids alone so they didn't have to share them. When he realized he could rent a large bounce house with a slide for the low price of $400 for the afternoon, this became a yearly tradition for Hillary's birthday. He would invite our family and the neighbors' grandkids and ask me to invite my friends kids because he thought it was so cool and fun. And it was! And weather permitting, he would set up this enormous inflatable water slide that he purchased at the same time. At the end of the party, the adults would have inevitably meandered inside due to the cold weather or a football game and it would be him and the kids enjoying the slide til the last possible second. It was just so beautiful.
And this was just one example- he brought this level of enthusiasm to Halloween, to my kids' first sleepover at their house (complete with balloons and a pillow fight), to Land of Make Believe, to Dorney Park etc... My kids and my nephews are just so lucky.
I would be remiss to not mention our Disney trip. For Xmas 2 years ago he surprised us with a trip to Disney world. I am so glad this happened. I am so glad that he had over 16 years with Parker who he may have loved most of all. I am also so sad that he ONLY had 16 years with Parker and even fewer with the rest of the grandkids. He was looking forward to us all going to Diggerland this summer and hopefully a return trip to Disney in 2018 to see the new Star Wars exhibit.
This is what sours our stomachs. That which was left undone.
But the truth of Rodney- or Hot Rod -as we lovingly referred to him for our entire lives- is that so long as he was alive on this earth- he was going to have plans and things he wanted to see and people he wanted to spend time with. He just was not an idle guy. And he never was.
We are grateful for and will miss the adventure. All of us.
We all have our Rodney stories- we LOVE these stories- and we have been telling our own Rodney stories- WITH Rodney- for YEARS. The laughter and often groans that accompany these stories have bonded my brothers and I like crazy. I can't tell you how many phone conversations have begun with "I have a good Rodney story for you." And what follows is a crazy adventure that might include keys lost at the bottom of some pool - we don't know which pool- in an enormous water park, glasses lost in the ocean where we all search for his sunglasses for HOURS, only to find random pairs of sunglasses that are not Rodney's. Or a trip to the Yankees- taking the wrong tunnel- arriving during the 7th inning stretch and leaving to find he'd locked the car door w the keys in the ignition and the car still running. Or that he made us stay at Hess's department store so long we are locked inside the store with no employee to be found. We've been taking comfort in these laughs and remembering him laughing along with us and his own retelling of the events which was priceless in itself.
This is only one small aspect of a man who lived a too-short but oh so incredibly full life. He had So. Many. Friends. And he was great friends with his large family. And great friends with my mom's family. And our neighbors and my mom's childhood friends and the manager at his favorite restaurant and so on and so forth. He loved people. And his love language was most certainly quality time. How many of us have been w Rodney on what was supposed to be a quick errand or meal and you ended up on a wave runner or sledding down a mountain or carrying 100 pieces of dry wall at a house you've never seen before or at a factory counting boxes in Newark, New Jersey and not home til close to midnight. Or at his beloved family farm. I think we all have - because he was so generous w his time with those he loved. He never wanted the good time to end. I think at this moment we are all grateful for those extra hours we got to spend.
It was not always easy to grow up as Rodney's step child (nor did we make it easy on him). Rodney was a police officer and criminal prosecutor at heart and he would police the language of our CDs and the mileage on our cars and our curfews with utter zeal. And like true rebellious teenagers, we would shamelessly steal back our CDs and disregard our curfews and talk back like it was going out of style. It drove him nuts. And he drove us nuts- we were committed to all sorts of manual labor unless we could make a quick getaway. I once ended up ditching my friend because she got suckered into helping him fix a washing machine for hours.
But he would never give up on us. He worried SO MUCH about us and like most teenagers, we worried about doing whatever we wanted to do. Nonetheless, in between bookings, he reminded us that he loved us as if we were his own biological children. This love trickled directly down to our children.
Rodney was BORN to be a pop-pop. He rivaled only my mom in enthusiasm and dedication and loyalty and time spent. In fact, they would sneak around behind each other's backs to visit grandkids alone so they didn't have to share them. When he realized he could rent a large bounce house with a slide for the low price of $400 for the afternoon, this became a yearly tradition for Hillary's birthday. He would invite our family and the neighbors' grandkids and ask me to invite my friends kids because he thought it was so cool and fun. And it was! And weather permitting, he would set up this enormous inflatable water slide that he purchased at the same time. At the end of the party, the adults would have inevitably meandered inside due to the cold weather or a football game and it would be him and the kids enjoying the slide til the last possible second. It was just so beautiful.
And this was just one example- he brought this level of enthusiasm to Halloween, to my kids' first sleepover at their house (complete with balloons and a pillow fight), to Land of Make Believe, to Dorney Park etc... My kids and my nephews are just so lucky.
I would be remiss to not mention our Disney trip. For Xmas 2 years ago he surprised us with a trip to Disney world. I am so glad this happened. I am so glad that he had over 16 years with Parker who he may have loved most of all. I am also so sad that he ONLY had 16 years with Parker and even fewer with the rest of the grandkids. He was looking forward to us all going to Diggerland this summer and hopefully a return trip to Disney in 2018 to see the new Star Wars exhibit.
This is what sours our stomachs. That which was left undone.
But the truth of Rodney- or Hot Rod -as we lovingly referred to him for our entire lives- is that so long as he was alive on this earth- he was going to have plans and things he wanted to see and people he wanted to spend time with. He just was not an idle guy. And he never was.
We are grateful for and will miss the adventure. All of us.
Of course I feel sad, but the loss of this earthly relationship between Pop-pop and my kids is so painful to witness. He took the time to hang out with my kids, get to know each of them as an individual, laugh with them, make them feel LOVED. My kids may be young, but this Pop-pop was an unforgettable legend. I know one day they will meet again and have laughs and share memories at the kitchen table over jelly crackers and ice tea. We love you, Pop-pop.
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